Seven Old Ladies – best version

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Chorus--
6   5     6    5   7   6 -5   5
Oh dear, what can the matter be?
-5 -5  -5 -5 -4   5   -5    5 -5   -6 6 -5
Seven old ladies got stuck in the lava’try
 6    6     5    -4  -5 -4    7   6  -5 5
They were there from Sunday thru Saturd’y
-4 5-5  -5    5   -4    4
Nobody knew they were there
 
Verse--
 5   6     6   6 5  -5   6 5 7     6 5
The first old lady was Elizabeth Porter. 
-5  -5  -5   -5-4   5  -5 -4  5     6  5 
She was the deacon of Dorchester's daughter. 
 5   6   6   6  6   5  -5      6  5   7   6 5
She went to relieve a slight pressure of water 
 4  -4 5-5  -5   5   -4   4 
And nobody knew she was there. 
Chorus

The second old lady was Abigail Splatter 
She went there 'cause something was surely the matter 
But when she got there, it was only her bladder. 
And nobody knew she was there. 
Chorus 
 
The third old lady was old Mrs. Bickle. 
Her urge was sincere, her reaction was fickle. 
She hurdled the door; she'd forgotten her nickel 
And nobody knew she was there. 
Chorus 
 
The fourth old lady was Hildegard Folye. 
She hadn't been living according to Hoyle. 
Was relieved when the swelling was only a boil 
And nobody knew she was there. 
Chorus 
 
The fifth old lady was Emily Clancy. 
She went there 'cause something tickled her fancy. 
But when she got there it was ants in her pantsy 
And nobody knew she was there. 
Chorus 
 
The sixth old lady was extremely fertile. 
Her name was O'Connor, the boys called her Myrtle. 
She went there to repair a slight hole in her girdle 
And nobody knew she was there. 
Chorus 
 
The seventh old lady was Elizabeth Bender. 
She went there to repair a broken suspender. 
It snapped up and ruined her feminine gender 
And nobody knew she was there. 
Chorus